I've been reading about a man who got lost in a forest. He had only the roughest idea where he was meant to go and when he finally noticed he wasn't see any of the landmarks he'd been told about, he kept walking, convinced what he was looking for must be over the next ridge. And then the next. And the next.
It took him a long time to realize he was lost and that he'd been lost for hours. This is evidently typical of people who get lost. The brain has made a mental map of what is supposed to be where and even when there's evidence to the contrary it doesn't register right away. Hold off creating a problem, the brain seems to say - until the realization of being lost finally bursts through. Even then, realizing you're lost doesn't necessarily mean you're going to stop and take stock; pushing on seems to be wired in some people's DNA. It's why lost children are more often found than adults; a child when tired has the good sense to sit down, to stay in one place and increase the chances of being found.
This comes out of a book I love, Deep Survival by Laurence Gonzales. He gives many other examples of people who press on when there's clear evidence it isn't a good idea - experienced river rafters who plunge into a current well beyond safety limits, a group that climbs a rock wall in Yosemite despite getting a late start and not knowing the day's weather forecast, because they'd been planning the climb for weeks. Having set a plan in motion it's often difficult if not impossible to stop it, even when you ought to know better. But if the "reality" of being lost doesn't burst through your defenses, you're probably done for; those who do survive usually have seen the real state of things very quickly and can act on the reality. They're able to come into the moment, as it actually is.
Gonzales is writing about the psychology of those who survive physical disaster but the ideas and language are certainly a metaphor for all of life. In a sense, we're all living in that moment before we realize we're "lost." I think I know where I'm going and go along even though I also know that life is completely unpredictable and that the only constant is change. No wonder we all feel a certain existential anxiety, that creeping sense that we know nothing and don't have any solid ground to stand on.
But there is something that can keep us from being overwhelmed by fear. It's our willingness, our readiness, to accept whatever new circumstances come. We can develop the great spiritual and psychological muscles of adaptability, which run on the faith that no matter what, we will be all right.
