STRAWBERRIES

I read somewhere that strawberries are the only fruit with its seeds on the outside. Of course, I thought, those little specks on the outside - seeds! And inside - none. I've eaten strawberries all my life, studied them while I search for the one in the plastic tub I think will be the most ripe, the sweetest. But I had the macro view, focused on strawberries as food, which one will delight me the most. The micro view would have led me to notice that the specks are seeds; I would have seen the strawberry qua strawberry and I would have marveled that such a thing, a delicious thing, exists.
     It's the same with people. As I go through the day, I'm moving so quickly I don't actually see people; I get an impression of them, sometimes a fairly detailed one. And I'm judging - this one looks intelligent, that one has terrible shoes (and therefore isn't my sort), she looks like someone I'd like to know better. First impressions are useful but I so rarely pay attention to them. When a long relationship ends, I often think I should have seen what would cause the problems - it was all there in the very beginning - it registered somewhere in my being but I didn't pay attention to it.
     We really see more than a surface view of the other. Even when we fall in love and want to know everything about the other, it isn't at all clear that we aren't seeing a projection of ourselves. This is true with everything we think and feel - it's all filtered by our consciousness. I mean something else - the simple fact of recognizing the humanity in the other, in many others. Then it doesn't matter if someone is wearing shoes I don't like or spouts political opinions that make me want to punch him. There's something beyond that, and if I look for it, I'll find a person with whom I probably have more in common than not. Most of us share the important things - how easy it is to become full of fear, how much we want to our lives to feel stable and secure, how much we need love. That's in every single person passing me by. It's mostly impossible to break through to a mutual recognition of our humanity, but I'll have a very different day if I keep it in mind. I'll be more patient with the woman on the market line who waits until everything is rung up before she goes digging in her vast purse for her wallet. (This is only one of the many grievances I can accumulate in a day.) I won't judge every third person who passes by. I'll take the time to ask questions and actually listen to the answers. In a way, I'm talking about moving through the day with no expectations or demands, open and receiving rather than closed and trying to impose my will.  Of course, half the time I have my eyes closed. Then it's humanity, shumanity. I'm a very busy person - get out of my way.
     This is a very long way from strawberries. But now that I think of it, I'm getting to eat a bowl of berries and non-fat cottage cheese, which I have to confess is quickly becoming my drug of choice.