STEP OUT OF YOUR FEAR

I had an appointment for an out patient surgical procedure this morning. I was nervous and used the twenty minute wait to meditate to calm myself down. Suddenly, I remembered years ago when I had a biopsy and felt much was at stake. I was in the changing room in a state bordering on panic. I was trying to breathe in and out when an image came to.
It was a ring of low stones. I see them very clearly, granite chiseled into rectangles embedded in the soil about six inches high. A voice came, "Step out of your fear. Step out of your fear." I closed my eyes and pictured myself slowly slowly slowly stepping beyond the circle of rocks, onto the cool grass. When I opened my eyes, in a miraculous way, my fear was gone. Whatever will be, will be; I'm ready for anything. The biopsy was positive and there was a long process in front of me, but that was the first and only time I felt panic coming on.
     Over the years I've returned to the image of the stones whenever I'm facing something that makes me nervous. It's a primitive image, a miniature Stonehenge, and it comes from a deep place. Some would call it grace. I don't know. But I believe it comes from the deepest part of me, the part that wants to survive, to transcend my fear, to be all right.
     What happened in that changing room still astonishes me. Fear came up and claimed me and I felt powerless, my being taken over, and yet the stones emerged and I obeyed the voice and stepped outside of my fear. In only a few moments, I was in a different place. I don't know how consciousness shifts in this way, but I know it can. I can't always quickly step out of fear and doubt and the signs which say, No. Sometimes, I have to picture the stones many times. But I know it's possible to move the fear, I know it from my own experience, and that is everything.