MISTAKES

William James said about making choices that we should ask ourselves, "Is it productive." Does it lead to expansion and create more possibilities? Will it move you forward toward a richer, fuller life?
     This came to mind because I was thinking about mistakes. That word and all the synonyms we use for it - error, blunder, fault, miscalculation - have negative connotations. They make me feel bad; one more time I've done the wrong thing. From now on, I'm going to use James' words - productive and unproductive. They're simply descriptive, without value judgments, which are the last things I need, more cudgels to beat myself up with.
     Productive means creative, fertile, achieving. If I had asked myself in the past, "which choice is the most productive?" I might have done things differently. But some of the choices that seemed to be unproductive led me to new circumstances which sometimes led me exactly where I wanted to go. We do what we do, and move on from there.
     I can see I'm talking about acceptance, of myself and my life. It's not resignation but the kind of acceptance that frees me from guilt and shame and deep embarrassment about the past. It takes away value judgments and frees the energy that was tied up in all that negativity. That's productive and as long as I'm asking myself what will lead me on, I have a chance to be creative, fertile, achieving.