That doesn't happen writing here. I've learned how to wait quietly, to focus my eyes on the middle distance. I don't try to figure out what to write. I wait for something to come. I think, now it's time to connect, to let the connection between my heart and my hand emerge. There's nothing to be anxious about. I'm not trying to have opinions or make any case or create a story that will bring the world to my door.
I'm just trying to get quiet, not even so much to write, as to feel the connection with a very deep part of me. If I can bring out anything authentic and true, that's where it comes from.
Getting quiet, waiting to connect with the stillness beyond my conscious mind and the energy that connection creates in me - it's not only the way for me to write. It's also the way to live. To be receptive, without the narrowness of preconceived ideas. To move through the day with a sense of that live connection, that energy, and feel the confidence that it won't turn off and leave me stranded. When I'm connected to that deep place there's no chance of that. Words like "stranded" have no meaning. Nothing abrupt and disorienting or "bad" can happen. I feel my experience as a flowing unity, always arising from moment to moment, and I'm able to take in whatever comes, process it and go on to the next. I have equanimity.
Needless to say, I don't feel that connection all the time. Anxiety, doubt, resentment can all come up and claim me. But now that I know what the deeper connection feels like, I can always get quiet enough to go looking for it and in looking I find my way back.
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