PURPOSE

If you know the why, you can live any how...

Years ago, lying in bed one night waiting to fall asleep, it came to me that I had made a crucial turning in my life, the most crucial one: I had had a spiritual awakening.  I had seen there was a power greater than myself in the world, a power greater than my own self-will and all the views and opinions of my own judgmental ego. I could have no idea what life had in store for me, but I knew that whatever it was, I would experience it and come to understand it in the context of my deepening spiritual connection. I realized I had developed faith, that as long as I saw my life as grist for the mill of spiritual expansion, I would be all right no matter what.
    My faith in what I understood that night has only deepened over the years. When I become willing to let go of all the noise in my head, the doubts and fears and resentments, the fantasies and expectations, when holding on becomes more painful than taking the risk of letting go, I find myself in the calm center of possibilities. I become able to ask, what is the purpose of my experience, what does it have to teach me? I no longer want to run from discomfort, pain, and suffering., but rather to embrace them, bring them inside so I can digest them and find whatever bits of nourishment they have to offer. I want to learn from them and in that learning feel myself expand.